Chapter 2

London

Langman got out of the plane nervously and waited for Shirley to come out as well. She kept complaining about all the horror he was putting her through and he kept assuring himself that it was the pregnancy hormones that were making her so bitchy…but she made it so damn hard.

‘Is this it? This is what you subjected me to so much travel for?’ Shirley snorted.

‘Yes, love. This is England.’ They began the walk to the arrival section of Heathrow.he hadn’t subjected her to the journey. She had announced that she needed a break as well and was going with him.

‘Hmph.’ She snorted.

‘You don’t like it?’

‘I expected something more exotic. I thought you said you were getting a much deserved leave? Aren’t we meant to be going on a Caribbean cruise or something?’ Langman grimaced. He didn’t want to tell her that he had been called here on business and she taunted him about his job so much that he’d lied that he’d gotten a well-deserved promotion and holiday.

‘I want a wheel chair. I can’t keep walking about with your kid causing all this havoc inside my body.’ She saddened. ‘My poor body. To think it was once so very beautiful.’

Langman wanted to cough.

Shirley had a sweet face, which made it amazing to think that she could be so annoying, and long legs, but calling any part of her body beautiful was dragging it a bit too far.

‘Have you seen what you have done, Langman? Anyway, I’m certain that your new position will pay for a post labor liposuction.’ She stared at their luggage.

‘So, where to now?’

Langman had to fight the urge to slap her with every fiber of his being. What sort of infuriating woman was this?

‘Waiting for an airport taxi. What else?’

Shirley snorted. She was beginning to do much of those. ‘Well this isn’t much of a vacation then…I expected a little more, Langman. Something like a private rented car or something of the sort.’ She sighed as if she was the world’s most longsuffering woman. ‘I guess you’d do better during our honey moon.’

Langman’s hand froze midair just as he was about to hail a taxi.

‘Honeymoon? Who said anything of the sort?’ she was trouble enough as she was. He really couldn’t see himself getting stuck to her for life.

Shirley’s eyes widened. ‘Aren’t you gonna do the noble thing, Langman? I’m having your goddamn baby!’

Langman took a deep breath.

This too shall pass, he told himself over and over again. Shirley was like this every day, he suddenly noticed. Her aggravations worsened during PMS and now, she was full blown insane. Langman managed to hail a taxi.

‘Where to, mate?’ the taxi driver was chewing gum and had loud music blasting from his radio.

No, his iPhone which was connected to his radio, Langman decided on second thought.

‘Mayfair.’ Langman replied.

The guy nodded and came out to help them pack their luggage into the trunk. Shirley wailed about her waist until Langman pushed her into the car in irritation.

The taxi guy laughed. ‘Nice weather today, isn’t it? Where are you and the missus coming from?’

‘Los Angeles.’ Langman drew out. His throbbing headache had returned.

‘Oh…American folk, aint ya? My mother’s step father-in-law was half American. On his father’s side.’ Langman looked in the rearview mirror to check if the taxi driver was smirking or joking.

He wasn’t.

‘So what are you fine folk doing here so close to winter? It gets really cold in these parts and since the missus is in the family way…well, I just wonder.’

‘It’s a well-deserved vacation.’ Shirley chirped obviously happy that the taxi driver had taken note of her ‘distress.’

‘Langman got it this period and so we had no choice but to head out here.’

‘Fine lady you must be then, love, to travel all this distance and keep your man company.’ The taxi guy commented.

Shirley nodded vigorously and Langman was a little worried that her head was going to fall right off.

‘So…’ the guy shifted the gear and Langman felt a little uncomfortable. It was odd getting used to the fact that in Britain, they drove on the opposite side. ‘What hotels do you have in mind?’

Langman gasped. The office had reserved a hotel for him somewhere near Mayfair but he’d unfortunately lost the paper.

‘Just a sec…’ he hunted for it in his briefcase while Shirley started humming an irritating tune that made Langman want to throw her out the window. After a while he paused and tried to regain his composure.

‘Honey, could you please stop.’ He said in his very sweetest voice.

‘Stop what?’ she asked innocently.

Langman breathed deeply. ‘The humming.’

‘What it’s disturbing you? I mean, this is a very popular song I’m humming, a beloved classic. Don’t you know the song, sir?’ she looked in the rearview mirror.

The driver shrugged, obviously sensing the tension.

‘It just sounds…’

‘Sounds what, Langman?’ her eyes dared him to make a nasty comment. He was surprised how badly he wanted to oblige.

‘Never mind. Hum yourself out.’ He resumed his search.

Shirley continued her humming, staring out the window as she did. ‘Better find that hotel fast. We’re passing many good ones.’ She added.

‘Found it.’ Langman said relieved. ‘Davenport Hostels. Do you know it?’ he paused after reading the hostel part. Surely the company hadn’t ordered him a hostel accommodation.

Shirley’s eyes were boring into his head and Langman tried not to meet her gaze. ‘Hostel?’ she echoed.

‘Sure.’ The taxi chap said gaily, trying to brighten the mood. ‘It’s the best hostel around anyway. Not far from Mayfair at all.’ He smiled.

‘Langman, answer me! Do you expect me to sleep in a fucking dormitory? In my condition?’

‘It isn’t as bad as you’re making it seem, Shirley. It will make us feel young again. You know, like high school…’

‘I’m too shocked to even say anything.’ Shirley readjusted herself several times. ‘How could you book a fucking dormitory? Is this how you plan to spend your stupid vacation? And to think I applied for a leave so I’ll accompany you…’

Langman snorted. So much for her saying she was too shocked to speak. Langman wanted to yell back. That he didn’t do the booking. It was the company.

‘I didn’t ask you to come. You brought yourself. Deal with it and stop being a nagging ninny! For God’s sake, Shirley I try my best!’ he exploded.

There was a long awkward silence and some minutes later, the taxi man cleared his throat which had become unusually dry.

‘Davenport Hostels.’ He muttered, stopping the car and eager to get rid of this people as soon as possible. And to think that he thought his wife was a nag. Julia was a saint compared to Miss. Prissy here. Suddenly, he felt overwhelming pity for Langman.

‘That would be £12.75 mate.’ He said. Langman counted some money and gave the man and then stood waiting for him to get the change.

Shirley waddled towards him. ‘For Pete’s sake! It’s been a long day I need to rest. My ankles are swollen sore!’

‘I’m tired too, Shirley. I’m waiting for the kind man to give me my change.’ Langman stressed through clenched teeth.

‘You would know how I felt if you were in my condition.’

Langman said nothing. He received his money and smiled at the taxi driver. Picking up two bags, he headed for the reception.

‘Langman! What the hell? Who’s gonna carry these other boxes?’

‘Be sensible, Shirley. It’s just two little bags. You can manage…’

Shirley’s eyes narrowed. ‘Do you want me to miscarry this baby? Do you even want this baby?’

Langman stopped and looked up to heaven. If there was a God, this was the time to strike thunder on that sorry excuse of a woman.

‘If you just wait outside then I’ll go and get help.’

‘Fine! And if you come out and find that I’ve been run over by a car or kidnapped, or stabbed to death, that’s fine too!’ Shirley yelled and crossed her arms.

The headache that had been torturing Langman deepened to a migraine.